Thursday, April 30, 2009

Asymmarvelous.

Just like swine flu, one-shoulder dresses are undeniably trendy. The challenge for the modern fashionista, then, is bringing a fresh edge to a style that conjures up images of everything from Hollywood starlets in floor-skimming goddess gowns to wild college students wearing makeshift togas.

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Bright colors, girly ruffles and a flirtatious hemline keep this French Connection dress from feeling too ancient Greece. Throw on some simple drop earrings and a killer pair of platforms, and your outfit just might make us yell "OPA!"

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Say goodbye to a tangerine sky.

Say hello to a tangerine skirt.

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J. Crew, $58.

Envisioning this with flat sandals (as shown) and one of my beloved white v-necks. Add a gold cuff bracelet, a margarita and a tan and you may as well be in St. Tropez.

Speaking of which - what happened to All I Want Is Everything, the third (and my favorite) book in the Gossip Girl series? So many epic storylines that have yet to be touched in its CW adaptation. Producers, take note.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Stars + stripes = solid colors?

Painstakingly assembled outfits are great for those days when your first class happens to be at noon. But when you just pulled an epic all-nighter/you're addicted to the snooze button/you knocked back one too many at the Mark II Lounge last night, it's always a safe bet to default to good old American classics.

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No time for make-up? Not a problem. Hide those puffy eyes behind a pair of sassy aviators. While you might get a couple of funny looks if you insist on wearing them all through lecture, your dignity will at least be safe in the walk to and from Kresge. Until you can save up for the Ray-Bans you've been dreaming of, this $5.80 pair from Forever 21 should do just fine (when buying low-end sunglasses, bear in mind that a label-less pair will always look chicer than cheesy rhinestones or unconvincing knock-offs).

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If you asked me what clothing item I couldn't live without, I would sing the praises of the white American Apparel v-neck t-shirt. Classic cut, deep v-neck, organic cotton - I own about ten varieties, and I wear them to shreds monthly. With a high-waisted skirt and heels to go out. With jeans and a blazer for class. With nylon shorts at the gym. With colorful panties to sleep in. While the white ones are my favorites, I am gradually expanding my collection...

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The latest bone of contention: acid wash or tri-blend?

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Any jeans enthusiast will defend her brand to the death. My latest denim obsession? The J. Crew Matchstick. With a cut that's slightly more forgiving than your typical skinny jean, the Matchstick is well-suited to a Saturday night out and brunch the next morning.

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And few things deserve to be treasured more highly than a pair of shoes that serves both form and function. The new Keds Champion, available in every color from plum to pumpkin, is the perfect accessory to give your uniform a splash of color. I just ordered these red ones online, and you can bet I'll be watching the mail room with an eagle eye for the next 5-10 business days.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Oh hey there, stud.

WAIT. I NEED THESE.

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Piperlime, $175.

OBSESSED.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

O-faced.

Northwestern is chock-full of talented people. Everyone seems to have their own thing going for them – a kind of calling, if you will. Some people are rock-star athletes, or can write circles around your average New York Times journalist, or, you know, add two-digit numbers without the aid of a graphing calculator. I respect that.

I happen to be really good at having orgasms.

I don’t mean that I have a lot of sex. I’m just what they call a highly orgasmic woman: meaning that sometimes when I do a few too many push-ups, or spend a little too long on the elliptical machine, I get that tell-tale throbbing in my loins that tells me I need to excuse myself for a bathroom break. Considering the weight given “The Elusive O” on the covers of trashy women’s magazines, you might think that being able to spontaneously produce the height of bodily pleasure is a nifty little thing to have in my bag of tricks.

I beg to differ.

Case One: Physical fitness testing in elementary school. The poor confused child trying to reach presidential level in flexed-arm hang while not betraying the waves of lustful sensation that are pulsating though her nine-year-old uterus. When I say ‘awk,’ you say ‘ward.’ Awk!

Anybody?

Okay, great.

Case Two: I have a roommate now. While in the old days – that great Golden Age of privacy – waking up to a random orgasm was a pleasant surprise, I’ve come to dread the hormone fluctuations and before-bed beverages that bring on weird, awkward vaginal euphoria caused in no part by naughty dreams or solo action under the sheets. Random orgasms are, like, not even an enjoyable experience anymore.

...Not even fair.

Case Three: Non-sex sexual acts. I had my first kiss relatively late in life, and while I’m happy to report that it did not make me come, for a long time that was a very valid concern. I get off watching romantic comedies sometimes – not in a way that makes me long for a white knight of my own, but in a way that makes me uncomfortable viewing them in the same room as my parents. If Titanic brought me to climax, then who’s to say you couldn’t lean in for a moment with someone, when all of a sudden..."Oh...OH...YES...oh God I’m sorry, you’re just a really good kisser!

Oh, orgasms. We have a love-hate relationship. But one perk of peaking that nobody can deny is that rosy glow that creeps into your cheeks right as the big moment rolls around.

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Which brings me to my climax: Nars blush in "Orgasm." Long-hailed as the gold standard in natural flush, "Orgasm" is a peachy-pink shade with just enough shimmer to make you wonder if you might be imagining it. At $25, the price is steep for your average penny-pinching college student - but for those of us who make a herculean effort just to avoid looking sickly in the six-month-long Chicago winter, the PPW ("price per wear," one of my fave shopping concepts) is a low, low one indeed. I've gotten a number of compliments while wearing this blush. Most of which involve me - a redhead - looking tan. So I'll be darned if this little rubber compact hasn't wormed its way into my daily routine.

Granted, the beauty industry can never take a good thing and leave it alone:

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So the brains behind Nars recently introduced "Super Orgasm." Brighter color, more imposing gold flecks...my professional opinion? Steer clear. An organic orgasm might be fine for discussion section, but one this, uh, glittery should be left in the bedroom. If you've got the budget to spring for a blush you can only reach for on Saturday nights, I would love to hear your glowing (har, har) review...for now, my orgasms may not be "Super," but they're just peachy for me.